I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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