yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
