I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
