ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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