And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it's like iHOP with fire
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
