Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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