wat bout pragnant strippers??
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
