i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
