i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize