Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Your cock deserves a montage
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize