That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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