What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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