I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
