my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
