I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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