found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
