i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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