First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
