I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When are your genitals available?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
