I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
