All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize