Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
