Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
