Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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