Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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