It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
