I think my vagina is haunted
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize