Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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