I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
