thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
