hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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