i permit you to call me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We need to get me chipped asap
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
