i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize