Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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