Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize