I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
