he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
