Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
