i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
