We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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