she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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