do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
