P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Let's get the cat blown out
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
