who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
