Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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