You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
