Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
