I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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