Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
