So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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