i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
