she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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