OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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