oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
