Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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