So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
