so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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