If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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